Why we should confess
Because we are sinners! That is, we think and act in a way contrary to the Gospel. Anyone who says he is without sin is a liar or he is blind. In the sacrament of Reconciliation God forgives his children who, having contradicted their identity, confess their failings and at the same time acknowledge his mercy. Since the sin of one person alone does harm to the body of Christ, which is the Church, the sacrament has as an effect also of reconciliation with our brothers and sisters.

How we should confess
It is not always easy to confess: we do not know what to say, we do not feel it necessary to go to the priest. Nor is it easy to confess well: today like yesterday, the greatest difficulty is the need to redirect thoughts, words and deeds that are culpably far from the Gospel. We need "a journey of authentic con- version. This includes both a "negative" aspect, that of liberation from sin, and a "positive" aspect, that of choosing good, accepting the ethical values ex- pressed in the natural law, which is confirmed and deepened by the Gospel. This is the proper context for a renewed appreciation and more intense celebration of the Sacrament of Penance in its most profound meaning." (TMA, 50).

The journey begins by listening to the voice of God, and it continues with an examination of conscience repentance. Then it continues by accusing ourselves of our sins to a priest and the proposal to make satisfaction for them. Then there is the invocation of God’s mercy freely given through absolution, thanksgiving for the forgiveness received and the resolution to start a new life.

What we should confess
"One who desires to obtain reconciliation with God and with the Church, must confess to a priest all the unconfessed grave sins he remembers after having carefully examined his conscience. The confession of venial faults, without being necessary in itself, is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church. (CCC 1493)

Examination of conscience
This consists in examining oneself on the evil done or the good omitted: towards God, one's neighbor and oneself.

Towards God
Do I turn to God only when I am in need? Do I attend Mass regularly on Sundays and Holy days? Do I begin and end my day with prayer? Have I taken the name of God, the Blessed Virgin or the Saints in vain? Have I been ashamed to show myself a Christian? What do I do to grow spiritually? How? When? Do I rebel against God’s designs? Do I expect him to do my will?

Towards one’s neighbor
Do I know how to forgive, make allowances for and help my neighbor? Do I judge without compassion in thoughts and words? Have I slandered, robbed, and despised the least and the defenseless? Am I envious, quick-tempered, do I know how to be impartial? Do I take care of the poor and the sick? Am I honest and just with everyone? Have I incited others to do wrong?

Do I observe conjugal and familial morality taught by the Gospel? How do I fulfill my educational responsibility towards my children? Do I honor and respect my parents? Have I rejected life that has just been conceived? Have I helped others to do so? Do I respect the environment? Do I thirst for revenge? Do I bear grudges? And I meek, humble, a peacemaker?

Towards oneself
Do I exaggerate in eating, drinking, smoking? Am I too concerned with my bodily health, my possessions? How do I use my time? Am I lazy? Do I want to be served? Do I love and cultivate purity of heart, thoughts and actions?

After we confess our sins it is customary for the priest to recommend an act of penance or some "satisfaction" for the offenses. This has several purposes. It helps amend the past. It makes reparation for injury. It puts us on the road to a new life. And it offers "medicine" to keep us from the same "sickness." The act of penance reminds us that sin and forgiveness have a social aspect.

Priests may impose whatever penance they wish. It should correspond to the seriousness and the nature of the sins. Traditionally, priests assign prayer, often three Our Fathers and/or three Hail Marys. That penance can help us experience God’s ever-ready mercy. But the unrepentant may consider the tradeoff worth the sin.

The point of the sacrament of reconciliation is conversion of heart. We confess our sins to experience God’s forgiveness and to change or way of thinking and behaving. The confession of sins is about reconciliation, about taking the steps to change what was wrong. It’s not about getting cheap grace so we can go forth and sin some more.

The burden of conversion does not lie completely with the act of penance, but that is a place to begin. The priest may request a penance of prayer, self-denial, or service to one’s neighbor. For example, if your sin is impatience, you might be asked to do some act of kindness toward those you’ve offended. If your sin is overindulgence in food or drink or the abuse of substances, you might accept a penance of fast and abstinence. You could also suggest to the priest a penance you think would help you.

The act of penance does not have to make up for all that we’ve done wrong. It couldn’t. Only Christ could do (and has done) that. Rather, the act of penance has a simpler goal. It helps us turn away from the past and turn toward the future with the equipment we need to make the journey well. (by Paul Turner)